I have lost the war. #1 ate a sandwich and cheese poofs for dinner. But, he ate so I guess I can’t be too mad. Is it sad that I am jealous of people with overweight kids? It would be so much easier if #1 was overweight. A few diet and exercise changes which I could use too and it would be fine. Kids bounce back quick. But this underweight thing mixed with him taking an appetite suppressant where the benefits outweigh the side effects is tough. I guess I’ll just continue to stock up on chips and brownies and ham and focus on him eating more often, rather than more food. I just wish I had the will power to stay out of the chips and brownies 😂😂😂 one thing at a time woman! 

One of the great things that has come with my bipolar/anxiety is that I have developed a kick grass on it and move on attitude with most things. I don’t often dwell on too much. I’m sure my husband appreciates that very much. We don’t fight much and when we do it’s mostly one sided, meaning I think we’re fighting and he’s just thinking about what we’re having for dinner, which is good because I also avoid conflict and usually try to keep my irrational thoughts to myself. But that never works for long. The poor guy can’t drive anywhere without me freaking out. I mean gripping the door handles, holding my breath, telling him to stop driving like an asshat, panic mode. It’s not always his fault, but sometimes he really uses his ego to drive. But let’s not even get me started on the way people drive because that will be a long tangent (not unlike this one) filled with profanity. Are you keeping up ok? I’ve had some sort of switch within the last hour since my husband came home, I’m guessing because I needed some adult conversation after trying to rationalize with a 5 year old drama queen. Do you know what it feels like to crave socialization but also be annoyed when anyone talks to you? It’s an awful feeling of anger and guilt and it’s been happening quite often lately. I enjoy texting immensely. I will text all day long and have these serious and intimate conversations. But phone calls are a no no for me. I can’t filter and I can’t shut up. (Kind of like this post) 

Well the house is quiet so now it’s time to decompress from the day and recharge the old batteries. Tomorrow is another day and who knows how I’ll be feeling when I wake up. Wishful thinking. 

Thanks for reading! Follow for more! 

2 thoughts on “Update

  1. I’m so sorry your son is underweight (for good reasons) – you can only do so much and it’s obvious you love him and you’re trying your best.

    As far as the phone/texting/socialization goes, I’m exactly the same way as you describe:

    “Do you know what it feels like to crave socialization but also be annoyed when anyone talks to you?”

    I’m also a texter.
    I HATE the phone, I worry about saying the wrong thing, and I rarely, rarely use it unless I have to use it. I used to be okay with the phone, but that was a long time ago.
    All I can say is I’m grateful for texts! :))

    Liked by 1 person

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