Hey guys! I know I have been gone a while, but I felt like I needed to get some things out and where would I find a better place than here?
So, there is a whole lot of controversy going on in the world. Seems to me that as soon as something is widely publicized, everyone comes out with an opinion that they would defend to the death just for the sake of being right. I want you to ignore those people. Delete them from your social media, don’t take their calls and definitely don’t argue with them. You are wasting precious time and energy on someone who just wants to argue. You have much better things to do with your time!
Yes, I absolutely believe you should be able to have productive friendships with people who have different morals, and values but I also believe you shouldn’t have to be berated for feeling or thinking any certain way! There is a difference. I can tell you from personal experience that a friend will not attack the way you feel. A true friend is there to support you, and agree to disagree, not push their thoughts and feelings on you.
The ONLY way a person affects the way you feel is if you let them. You can feel however you want and you do not have to apologize or defend your feelings! EVER!! So if you feel like someone is hurting your feelings, unintentionally or not, they are! If you feel like someone is constantly negative, they are! If you feel like someone is just giving off bad vibes and you don’t want to be around them, you don’t have to. And no one gets to tell you otherwise.
Here in lies my problem. You have to be very cautious who you share your heart with. There are snakes in the grass ladies and gents! These are the people who preach love and understanding and tag you in best friend things on facebook and then go behind your back and say bad things about you to someone else.
There are a few signs of these people that you can pick up on and protect yourself. The absolute number one sign of a snake in the grass is someone who will talk about a “friend” in a negative way to you. If that person is saying these bad things about someone who they refer to as a “friend”. then you need to be considering what information they are sharing about you behind your back. Another sign is someone who is constantly doing things to get attention, be it positive or negative. These people have narcissistic tendencies and generally will “care” about you until they find someone in the spotlight. One last sign is someone who calls you to talk, but as soon as they get the stuff they wanted to say, instantly get off the phone. This is called the dump and run. They dump off all the negativity in their life to feel better, but don’t return the favor for you.
Now I am not saying that someone who does any one of these things is a bad friend, just telling you to keep an eye (and ear) out and be a little cautious. You get to feel the way you want to feel, parent the way you want to parent, love the way you want to love, look the way you want to look, and anything else without having to fear being chastised by someone else. We are all so exceptionally unique and we shouldn’t be afraid to share those things with each other. You can always learn something from someone but obviously, the goal is to learn something positive.
How I wish it wasn’t so! I long for solidarity within the population, and for each person to consider how their actions will affect others when making decisions. I long for a group of people who I know I can trust, and who love me for who I am, with no judgment, just pure understanding. A group who I can learn life lessons from others, and share my own from experience to help someone else. A group where I can be myself, unapologetically, and you can be yourself too.
So, I leave you today with a challenge. When you step into your day tomorrow I want you to stop, just for a moment and make a mental note to consider others when going about your day. If you have to wait in line for that coffee longer than usual, instead of going off, consider that the barista may be doing the best she can to hold herself together today and just needs a minute to get it together. At any point in your day with human interaction, lets give each other a break. To you, it may be nothing. But for someone else it could mean the world.<3