*Disclaimer: Everyone has an opinion about parenting. The truth is, what works for one kid doesn’t work for another so you should always go with your instincts and do what you feel is right–no matter who disagrees. Also, even though you don’t agree with someone else’s parenting you should keep your mouth closed, and just focus on what works for you. Every parent is doing the best that they can, the way they know how. Making people feel like they aren’t doing things right because they aren’t doing them your way is not only mean but nosy. In other words, mind your own business. *
So, everyone talks about “only give your child 1 hour of screen time” and I’m just going to flat out say that does not happen in my house. I have never set limits on my children’s screen time, other than at meals and bedtime. If they would like to spend the entire day watching tv and using their tablets, so be it.
My oldest has ADHD and the tablet not only helps him focus but also teaches him things in a way he can relate to. (Which is extremely difficult) Does this mean he spends all day, every day on his tablet? No. By not placing a time limit on how much he gets a day he has been able to self regulate. He will play for a while, then he will set it down and play legos or draw. He likes to play with his friends, and enjoys spending time with his family. He is extremely smart, and also extremely socially aware. So, has letting him choose how he spends his free time affected him negatively in any way? No, it hasn’t. He sometimes plays on the tablet all day, and sometimes not at all. But either way, it’s his free time to spend how he chooses and I think so far he is making some great ones.
We are in a day and age where everything is done with a computer of some sort. (Phone, tablet, laptop, computer, etc) When I was younger that wasn’t the case so I went with the times and did other things kids my age did. I learned how to use the technology I was given, and over the years it has advanced significantly. I have kept up and I know how the world works. You can’t let your children play outside alone anymore like you could when I was younger. Not only do you have to worry about someone taking them, now you have to worry about another parent who doesn’t feel like you are doing your job correctly calling child services on you.
Everywhere you go you are constantly being judged by people who think they have it all figured out. If your child throws a fit in a store you’re worried because people are staring at you and making comments about not being able to control your children. I have news for you, kids throw fits! It’s their way to let out their emotions. As long as they aren’t hurting themselves or anyone else, why does it matter? Smaller children aren’t able to express themselves in their emotions so yelling and being angry is how they express it! If you are constantly telling them to shh and to act right because of other people you are telling them that their emotions are supposed to be suppressed to make everyone else feel better. Obviously it’s embarrassing if your child is screaming in public, but I just let them scream it out and then we go on about our day. Another thing I personally get judged for is my children having their tablets, sitting in the cart playing on them. This is the way my kids sit still. And when my kids sit still, not only am I able to remember what I came for but the entire trip is just smoother as a whole. So, that’s what works for me. If your child is able to stand by you in a store with no issues, that doesn’t make you a better parent than me or your children more well behaved, just means we are different. There is nothing wrong with either.
I wish people were able to just do what’s best for their kids without judging other people’s methods, but I know that isn’t going to happen. But for the record, we do what we feel is best without the judgement and opinions of others. We’re all struggling to figure this whole parenting thing out and each child is different, and has a different set of strengths and weaknesses. We should be helping each other by experience, not throwing each other under the bus. My kids are happy, well adjusted monsters who sometimes throw fits, and play on their tablets and I’m perfectly ok with that.