The Blame Game

I am tired. I am tired of constantly hearing about suicides, and murders and shootings. Not because I am blind to tragedy, but because of the aftermath that is left behind. I know tragedy, and I know in the aftermath you will find a dark cloud of turmoil as people search for a reason for why this has happened. Trying to find someone or something to blame this on so we don’t have to accept that maybe, just maybe society has caused it. No one wants to think of themselves as contributing to the fall of the human race, but let’s be honest for a second in saying that each and every single person on this earth has at one point left their mark on the giant stain that is today’s society. Not even just society, but today’s world.

The world we live in is full of darkness, hatred, and angst. And we are all complicit to the crimes constitantly being committed around us. The one thing that instantly gets me heated is people saying things like it “didn’t use to be this way.” This world is changing moment by moment. Every second is different from the last and anyone who is focused on the past is hindering the ability for us to fix the now and have a brighter future. We can sit back and complain about technological advances and how they have changed people for the worse, but is it really doing any good? Is your complaining doing anything to make this world a better place, or are you simply wasting precious oxygen? Shouldn’t we be trying to use what we have to the best of our abilities instead of companing about what we don’t have? We are constantly trying to further our knowledge and skills and racing other countries to be the most advanced, and I wonder what effect that has on us as a race. Sure, competition can be a wonderful thing but are we really focusing on the important issues? Are we really solving the most important problems? Or are we all in a giant pissing contest no one is going to win? I don’t want to blame the media for the way things are because that would imply that people are sheep and have a herd mentality and that is a scary thing to think about. Are we not held accountable for finding our own information and forming our own opinions? Why are people so insistent on the black and white when mostly everything fits into a grey area? Everything has turned into an either or and if you don’t fit into one then you must fit in the other. Being as I am a “grey area” person, most of the time my ideas don’t fit anywhere. Even though logically everyone’s opinions are based on their own life experiences, we expect them to conform to the little boxes we put the options in. You can either feel this way, or that way but no middle ground. I think this causes so much turmoil because people don’t really put much effort into feeling however they feel; they are too busy trying to figure out which box to check.

Denial is also a huge issue in today’s society. I mean look at vaccinations for an example. One person said they cause autism and even though we’ve advanced and know that is untrue people are still using that as their basis for not vaccinating their children. God forbid someone do their own research and find credible, up to date resources with proper information. This point hits home so hard in today’s society. Meanwhile children are getting diseases that are easily preventable because you want to stand by your opinion, rather than accept that you were wrong.

Racism, another example. Does it happen? Absolutely positive it does. Do I think there are people out there who grew up in a community of racists and for some reason have stuck there? Absolutely. Does everyone who grew up around it have the same ideas? Absolutely NOT. That’s the issue. People are constantly trying to conform by not conforming. They want to say, “I’m an individual” but in the same breath form an opinion based on one story they read on the internet one time. Recently, Starbucks has been under fire for racist employees being video taped and shown all over the internet. Do racists have some kind of sign or something that differentiates them from everyone else? No? So how exactly is a company supposed to know this? We are telling them how they should be screening these people and going through their social media before hiring, and out the other side of our mouths preaching about privacy and how important it is. You can’t have it both ways. There is a happy medium for everything but that happy medium requires compromise and we are living in a world where no one feels they should have to compromise whatsoever. Our morals and values should not be based on a story we read on the internet, or anything else besides what we feel from our own personal experiences is right and wrong.

So, what’s the answer to stop racism? I don’t know the answer, but what I do know is that we need to stop blaming groups for one individuals actions and thoughts. Sheep. Stop being a follower and wander off onto your own path. Stop expecting to get something because you feel you deserve it. Stop trying to place blame so you don’t have to look inwards and reevaluate yourself. Pull your head out of your ass and look around. Do your research, meet new people, listen to their ideas and their morals and take a little piece of everyone you meet and get a grip on the world we live in. Quit being so damn defensive when someone has a different opinion from you. You’re not wrong if you disagree, you’re different. And different isn’t bad.

Suicide and mental illness are a taboo in our society. We speak of it in hushed whispers and lowered tones. We don’t open up the dialogue unless there is something we disagree with. This needs to stop. We need to be informed! We need to learn the signs of mental illness and the options we have in respect to ourselves and our children and stop pretending it won’t happen to us. We’ve got to be familiar with medications and side effects and what to do if we experience them and be open to different medications and trying everything possible until something works. I know many people try one medication, don’t like the way it makes them feel and give up. Or someone will have bad side effects and just keep taking the medication because they think it’s their only option. If you have a bad experience with a psychiatrist or doctor, don’t be afraid to go to a new one. If you have a bad experience with a medication, there are a million other alternatives out there. Don’t be miserable when there are options out there. Talk with your people and create a support group. You will find that a lot of people are going through things similar but are afraid to talk about it. Be the start of a change. Be the leader and open up the dialogue.

Reach out to everyone you know and tell them your experiences. Get the information out there and open up about things that make people think or make people uncomfortable because people need to be uncomfortable. We need to talk about suicide and we need to talk about mental health and racism and all of the other things no one wants to talk about. Get. It. Out. Do not be a sheep. Instead of focusing outward when something goes wrong, we need to focus inward and make a conscious effort to start the change within us. You can change more about this world starting with yourself than you ever could pointing fingers trying to fix everyone else. You are not a sheep, you are not a tree so change.

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